Corresponding Text Section

 

Chapter 32: The Final Vision

 

5. Self-Concepts and the Self

The learning of the world is built upon a concept or image of the self which is constructed for and continuously adjusts itself to the world’s “reality.” This self-image fits the world well, and maintains this world. For this is an image that is at home in a world of shadows and illusions. Here it walks comfortably, where what it looks upon is aligned with it. The building of a concept of the self is what the learning of the world is for. This is its purpose: that you come to it without a self, and make one as you go along. And by the time you reach “maturity,” you have completed your self to meet the world on equal terms, at one with its demands.

A concept or image of the self is made by you. It bears no likeness to your holy Self at all. It is an idol, made to take the place of your reality as Child of the Divine. The concept of the self the world would teach is not the thing that it appears to be. For it is made to serve two purposes, only one of which the mind consciously recognizes. The first presents the face of innocence, which is the aspect acted on by the world. It is this face that smiles and charms and even seems to love. It searches for companions, and it looks at times with pity on suffering, and sometimes offers solace. It believes that it is good within an evil world. This aspect can grow angry, for the world is dangerous and disappointing, and unable to provide the shelter and the love that innocence deserves. And so this face is often wet with tears at the injustices the world accords to those who would be generous and decent.

This aspect never makes an initial attack. But every day a hundred little things make small assaults upon its innocence, provoking it to irritation, and at times at last to open insult and abuse. The face of innocence the image of the self so proudly wears can tolerate attack in self-defense, for is it not a well-known fact that the world deals harshly with defenseless innocence? No one who makes a picture of themself omits this face of innocence, for they have need of it.

The other side of the self you made you do not want to see, but it is on this other side that the learning of the world has set its sights. For it is on this other side that the world’s harsh reality is set, to ensure that the self made to replace your Self endures. Beneath the face of innocence there is a lesson that the concept of the self was made to teach. It is a lesson in a terrible displacement, and a fear so devastating that the face that smiles above it must forever look away, lest it perceive the treachery it believes is hidden within. The lesson the hidden self teaches to everything perceived as outside itself is this: I am the thing you made of me, and as you look on me you stand condemned, because of what I am.

On this image of the self the world smiles with approval, for it guarantees that the pathways of the world are safely maintained, and those who walk on them will not escape. Here is the central lesson that seems to ensure your sisters and brothers are caught forever in guilt. For what you have become as a result of their treatment has now become their “sin.” For this no forgiveness is possible. No longer does it matter what they do, for your accusing finger points at them, unwavering and deadly in its aim. It points to you as well, but this is kept still deeper in the mists below the face of innocence. And in these shrouded vaults beneath consciousness are all their “transgressions” and yours kept in darkness and preserved, where they cannot be perceived as merely mistakes, which the Light would surely show.

Because of the first face of the self-concept – innocence – you cannot be blamed for what you are, and because of the second – victimhood – you cannot change the things your self-concept makes you do. And each of those who believe that they are the self the world has forged becomes the symbol of the others’ transgressions, silently and yet with ceaseless urgency condemning their sisters and brothers for the despised thing they believe they have been forced to become.

Self-concepts are learned. Apart from learning they do not exist. They are not given by the Divine, so they are not natural and must be constructed. Not one of them is true, and many come from feverish imaginations, burning with disgust and distortions born of fear. What is a worldly concept but a thought to which its maker gives a meaning of their own? Such concepts maintain the world, but they cannot be used to demonstrate that the world is real. For all of them are made within the world, born in its shadow, raised in its ways, and finally “maturing” in its thought. They are the images of idols painted with the brushes of the world, which cannot make a single image representing Truth.

A concept of the self, or self-image, is meaningless, for no one here can perceive what it is truly for, and therefore cannot picture what it is. Yet is all learning that the world directs begun and ended with the single aim of teaching you this concept of yourself, so that you will choose to follow this world’s “laws,” and never seek to go beyond its roads nor realize the way you conceive yourself. Now must the Holy Spirit find a way to help you see that this concept of the self must be undone, if any peace of mind is to be given you. Nor can this self-image be unlearned except by awakening lessons aimed to teach that you are something else. For otherwise, you would believe you are being asked to make exchange of what you now believe you are, as limited as this is, for total loss of self. And then greater terror would arise in you.

Thus are the Holy Spirit’s Lesson Plans arranged in easy steps, so that though there be some lack of ease and even some distress at times, there is no shattering of your self-image, but just a retranslation of what seems to be the evidence on behalf of what was previously learned. Let us consider, then, what proof there is that you are what your sisters and brothers have made of you. For even though you do not yet perceive that this is what you think, you have surely learned by now that you behave as if it were.

That you are what your sisters and brothers have made of you seems most unlikely. Do they react to the world for you? And do they know exactly what will happen to you? Can they see your future, and ordain before it arrives what you should or will do in every circumstance? They must have made the world as well as having made you in order to have such prescience in the things to come. Even if they did, who gave the face of innocence to you? Is this your contribution to your self-image? Who is, then, the “you” who made this face? And who is deceived by all your semblance of goodness, and attacks it so?

Let us lay aside a moment the concept’s foolishness, and merely think of this: there are two parts to what you think yourself to be in the self-image you have made of yourself—innocence and victimhood. If one, victimhood, was generated by your sisters and brothers, who was there to make the other? And from whom must the face of victimhood be kept hidden? If the world be evil, there is still no need to hide what you are made of in your self-image, which is the face of innocence. Who is there to perceive it? And what but that which is attacked could need defense?

Perhaps the reason the dark side of this self-image must be kept in darkness is that, in the Light, the one who would not think it true is you. And what would happen to the world you perceive if all its underpinnings were removed? Your concept of the world you look upon depends upon your concept of the self. And both would disappear if either one were ever seen beyond.

It is in your and everyone’s best interests for you not to be thrown into panic through the experience of having your concept of yourself be suddenly undermined or lost. So the Holy Spirit merely asks if just a little question about the reality of your beliefs might be raised. There are alternatives to the self-image that you believe you are. You might, for instance, be the self you chose to have your sisters and brothers be, that is, a culprit or perpetrator. This shifts the concept of the self from what is entirely passive as victim, and at least makes way for active choice, and some acknowledgment that interaction must have entered in. From this perspective there is some understanding that you chose for both yourself and your sisters and brothers, and what they represent has meaning that was given it by you. It also shows some glimmering of sight into perception’s law that what is perceived merely reflects the state of the perceiver’s mind.

Yet this perspective still comes up short. If you are what you chose your sisters and brothers be, alternatives were there to choose between, and someone must have first decided on the self-concept to choose, and let the others go. Who was it that did the choosing first?

Although this step has gains, it does not yet approach a basic question. Something regarding the self must have taken place prior to these images of the self being formed. And something must have done the learning that gave rise to the various aspects of the self-image. Nor can this question be answered by either the victim or culprit view. The main advantage of shifting from the first to the second is that you somehow entered in the choice by your decision, rather than having your self-concept arise in reaction to something outside yourself. But this gain is paid in almost equal loss, for now you stand accused of guilt for what your sisters and brothers have become. And so you must share their guilt because you chose it for them, in the image of your own guilt. While only they were treacherous before, now must you be condemned instead of or along with them.

The concept of the self, or the self-image, has always been the great preoccupation of the world, even if unconsciously. And everyone believes that they must find the answer to the riddle of themselves. In this context, awakening can be seen as nothing more than the release from all self-images. It does not concern itself with unconscious content of the mind, but with the simple and obvious statement that the mind thinks. And what can think has choice, and can be shown that different thoughts have different consequences. And the mind can learn that everything it currently thinks reflects the deep confusion that it feels about how it came to be, and what it is. And how, vaguely, the concept of the self appeared to answer what it had forgotten about itself.

Seek not your holy Self in symbols. There can be no concept or image that can stand for what you are. What matters it which concept or image you accept, while you still perceive a self that acts in a world of illusions, and reacts to a will other than the Divine’s? As long as you have any concept or image of yourself it will still remain quite meaningless. And you will still not see that you can interact only with yourself, be this merely an image you made up, or your Self as It is shared with all Creation. To perceive a guilty world is merely the sign that your learning has been guided by the world, and that you perceive it as you look upon yourself. The concept of the self, distilled into the self-image, embraces all you look upon, and nothing is outside of this perception while the concept of the self lasts. If you believe you can be hurt by anything, you merely perceive a picture of your secret wish, and nothing more than this. And in your suffering of any kind you perceive your own concealed desire to attack.

You will make many different images of the self as learning goes along. Each one will show the changes in your own relationships, as your conception and perception of yourself and of your sisters and brothers are changed. There will be some confusion every time there is a shift, but be you thankful that the learning of the world is loosening its grasp upon your mind. And be you sure and happy in the confidence that this learning will dissolve at last, and leave your mind at peace. The role of the accuser will appear in many places and in many forms, and each will seem to be accusing you. But have no doubt that all accusation and guilt will be undone. The world can teach no images of you whose Self is far beyond all images and idols, unless you want to learn them.

There will come a time when all self-concepts have gone by, and you will see that you know not what you are. It is to this unsealed and open mind that Truth returns, unhindered and unbound. Where concepts of the self have all been laid aside is Truth revealed exactly as It is. When every concept has been raised to Spirit, and cleared of all assumptions that would seek to withstand the Light, then is the Truth left free to enter into Its Sanctuary clean and free of guilt.

There is no statement from you that the world is more afraid to hear than this:

 

I do not know who I am, and therefore do not know where I am, what I am doing, or how to perceive the world or myself.

 

Yet in this true learning is awakening born. And what you truly are will tell you of Itself.